Here I am little miss independent, totally screwed once again. I don't do things small, I do things on a grand scale. My Jeep breaks down. Now usually I don't travel more than a few miles from home. But this would be the one time I am going to drive a considerable amount. Why?... to fix my Jeep, cause it was having problems.
So it breaks down 70 miles from home, which sends me into a MS flare up. WOOHOO!! Is it something simple. NOOO! 3 weeks later, countless people offering to help, and not being able to, or just leaving me hanging, I still have no vehicle.
So my MS flare continues and just keeps getting worse. Now I am getting migraines every single day, which are incredibly fun. When I ate dinner tonight, it just came right back up. I am in way too much pain to even try to get food down. But I managed to smile all weekend long and try to have a great time with my kids. :D Thank gawd for years of drama classes.
Thankfully a friend came out with his friend yesterday and I managed to get a final diagnosis as to what is wrong with my Jeep. The ignition pulley screw had snapped in half. We are talking about a screw that is like 5 to 6 inches in length. SNAPPED! So tomorrow, I will walk my happy ass to the Jeep dealership and ask them to order the screw and hope like hell it won't take forever and a day.
***** But wait there's more, yep, my head gasket is blown. So I need to have that done. Now tomorrow I will go pick up the parts and I will have everything that is needed to do the job. ***Step 1 accomplished***
Now I have to find that wonderful mechanic that will do the work for me. I have posted one ad on Craig's List offering to barter with my furniture/refinishing services. (I do have a coffee table worth $3k sitting here.) I will post another one tomorrow and see what it brings.
If I can't find a mechanic willing to barter, then I need to work my ass off, and come up with money so that I can have the work done. Luckily there are mobile mechanics that guarantee their work, and with the economy being slow, the prices aren't horrific.
I have to say this little miss independent is tired of doing things on her own. I have always did it on my own. Everyone has encouraged me, told me to stop being stubborn and ask for help when I needed it and I couldn't handle it anymore..... Hasn't done me any good at all. Here I am, sick as hell, I'm tired of playing the "I'm positive about life and its all gonna be okay" game. I can't go to the doctor, the dentist, the grocery store (not that it matters, I can't eat), can't get my cat's food, can't go get my kids. I can't walk to the bus stop..... my legs don't always let me go that far, thus the reason, I have handicapped parking.
I am disappointed in people. I am disappointed in myself.
(yes I have had some help, and thank you to those who have stepped up and done what they could, it is very very much appreciated, sometimes a drive to the store is all you can offer, but it helps me so much you don't even know)
2 comments:
Awww hun, I'm sad to hear you have to go thru all this crap. I wish I had money so I could help you. But you certainly shouldn't be disappointed in yourself. You have done nothing but keep trying. What else can you do? If you just sat there doing nothing then different story. But you haven't just sat there waiting. You go above and beyond what alot of non handicap people I know would do for themselves. It is a hard time you are dealing with and it won't last forever. I myself have to go to work everyday and still after rent and bills never have any money to play with or even get things I need but are at the bottom of the list which I never get too. I have a home and most of what my kids and I need and that I can live with. Life isn't easy and probably never will be but as long as you do what you can and make it thru another day then you have done alright. I'm proud of you, you are a strong determined woman regardless of your handicap and you should be proud of yourself! Things will work out in time. Keep your chin up! I love you! Auntie Deb
Thank you Auntie Deb. I appreciate it. It's just so discouraging, I used to make good money, and now I barely survive. Thank gawd for the stubbornness that was passed onto us from Grandpa huh? I love you too.
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