#6 Catch Up

**Oh how I have ignored you my darling blog... I'm sorry.... I promise to be more faithful.**



So as I sit and dream about romance, how things should be, the way I want to and should be treated. BOOM! There he is, this wonderful man walks into my life, sweeps me completely and totally off of my feet. I was completely "in like" with him. Then, as if by some cruel joke from the universe to say "haha, yep "it" exists and you can't have it!!!"..... about two weeks ago he died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. I've been so broken.... I don't really have much more to say about that.


With my broken-ness I have lost a lot of my filter once again, well it's either that or people are really pushing my buttons. Conversation with my friend/ex didn't go so well last night... she decided to tell me some things she had been doing that I wasn't exactly proud of her for. In fact it goes against everything I hate. She admitted to me that she had spent the past three days sleeping with a woman who was in a relationship. So she was helping someone cheat. As far as I am concerned, you are just as bad as a cheater at that point. You are doing something that will at some point hurt someone. Most likely break their heart. Why would you ever want to bring that kind of karma onto yourself? So I somewhat told her my disgust with that. But not to strongly... I held back a great deal, although, I think she would beg to differ. Then she started going on and on and being jaded about love. Being mad because nobody wanted to be in a relationship with her. I started to angry with her again. Didn't talk to her much longer because she had to go.

I had almost 24 hours to think about it. Which may or may not have been a good thing. We all have our reasons to be jaded about love. I am 31 years old, been married and divorced, been cheated on, been abused emotionally and physically, abandoned, been to my best friend and soulmates funeral and thought about that every single day for 9 years....... C'mon, we all have our reasons.
After all that thought, she made the mistake of messaging me and asking me why I get so mad at her when she gets down about love. In which I said "You are just acting ridiculous. I have been through just as much shit as you. Life is what you make of it. You can either go around whining about it. Or pick up your big girl panties, be thankful for what you DO have, and move along. "
... A few more messages went back and forth, I know she isn't happy with me now. I am not trying to be a Mega-Bitch by any means. Sometimes things just have to be said.